Finding Diana

An everyday woman's guide to figuring out what the hell happened to her life

 


Finding Diana
An everyday woman's guide to figuring out what the hell happened to her life


Lessons my father taught me

I am sorry if you are sick of reading about my inability to handle the death of my father.  But, this time, on what would have been his 74th birthday, I am focusing on the lessons he taught me by accident.  These are not the lessons I endured countless hours of lecture about, nor ones that I was quizzed on in school.  They don't even contain SAT words.  I will share three today:

1. True friends make you happy.  This seems cheesy, but I apply it to my life by remembering that my friends are people who make me happy and whom I'm comfortable around.  This exempts me from the social climbing that I witness around me.  I often see people worrying about who is invited where and how often.  Which friends spend too much time with one person and not enough with another.  In other words, the politics of seventh grade never dies - unless you choose to ignore them and just be a great friend.  No one can ever accuse my father of picking his friends based on their social status.

 

2.  Try not to look back - My dad spent too much time looking back and saying that if he had made a different decision at different times, his life would have been better.  Well, duh, all of us feel that way.  Everything from the unnecessary brownie I ate yesterday to jobs I should have taken and trips I should have scheduled weighs on me.  But it doesn't do me any good.  It is my biggest struggle to look ahead and not behind, but I try every day.

 

3. You never know what will happen, so don't over-worry it.  This was not a lesson he meant to teach me.  My dad was a healthfood fanatic who never ate red meat, excercized frequently and most of his food looked like cardboard.  This is supposed to keep you healthy.  That didn't end up working out.  So now I don't respond to every study that comes out saying "eat more fish" then the next week "too much fish will poison you" then the week after that "Why aren't you eating fish, dammit?"

The only study I really listen to is the one that says "drink red wine".  That one I can handle. 

1 comment | Add a New Comment
1. Cathy | December 22, 2010 at 08:23 PM EST

I, for one, will never grow tired of hearing you talk about your dad because I truly, truly, truly get how much you loved him and how much you miss him...he was (and will always be) your DADDY, and I can\'t imagine EVER getting over that. I can only wish for you that you are able to DREAM about him...good dreams where you can talk to him and hug him and kiss him on the cheek. Then, you can wake up in the morning feeling like you\'ve had a little more time with him. Anyone who doesn\'t want to hear about how much you still miss him clearly never had a relationship with their father filled with LOVE and CARING and deep AFFECTION!!!

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