By Diana's blog | August 29, 2010 at 11:45 AM EDT | No Comments
I think it's a mistake to think too much about things. I tend to over-analyze situations and it depresses me. Why can't a comment, just be a comment instead of a hidden meaning? Also, I tend to see only negative comments, rather than positive comments. It's entirely possible that there are more positive underhanded comments flying around out there that I am missing because I am too focused on what possible negative undertones someone could mean.
Lately, I have just been assuming that people aren't thinking or talking about me, and that the world doesn't revolve around my perspective or boundries. Sometimes, people say and do things that can be construed as negative by me, but are not intended that way. I have decided to only pay attention to those comments and actions that are specifically directed at me.
Why do I say all this? I had a situation at work this week where someone I supervise asked me for a special favor. She needed me to alter her work schedule and she wanted this done in less than two days. So, I tried to explain that I needed to check with HR, and make sure that it was OK with them. I also needed to see what our department policy was. She couldn't understand that it wasn't all about her- that there might be other people in the workplace affected. So, I went out of my way to make it work for her. This involved me spending two days working with HR staff, drafting a new agency-wide policy, re-working other people's schedules and duties. In return, all I got from the employee was "I don't know what all the fuss was about."
I was pretty infuriated. Rather than "Thanks for going out of your way to help me out" or "You are the best boss that ever lived" I got a scowl and a giant FU. Now, I realize this isn't really about me. Its all about what is going in her head - none of this is really about me. But still, it would have been nice to have gotten a positive nod.
Anyway, its not about me, so I will take a deep breath and try and teach this employee that when they ask for a favor and for others to go out of their way, she needs to react accordingly and not burn bridges along the way.