Finding Diana

My cynical view of people's behavior has been challenged.  I tend to think that often times when someone is doing something nice, they are doing it for selfish reasons.  Perhaps they want to appear to be a saint or they like to be in the middle of things.  Often times people flock to the scene of an accident, not to help the victims, but to take in the visual drama as entertainment for themselves.

That is how I have looked at efforts in the past to be "helpful" to others, at times.  Is that lady at the door with the casserole really trying to bring comfort to a grieving family, or are they just wanting to tell their friends that they came to the house and know the real story about what happened?  Is that acquaintence coming to your house to see your newborn or report back what a pig sty you are now living in?

I know, I know, I'm very cynical about this.  Why?  Because I have been burned like this in the past.  People who were being "nice" turned into gossips or disappeared when you really needed something.

Now I have seen something different. 

After the death of my friends, Robin and Josh Berry (Gd, it even hurts to type those words), people have been coming out of the woodwork to help in ways that are actually helpful.  Rather than have hundreds of people mobbing the hospital or the doorstep of the mourners, people have been doing grassroots fundraising to get the surviving injured children what they will really need - Money.

This part is not cynical.  Money is really what they will need.  Their family will provide compassion, love, healing and support.  That is a given.  But what is hard to ask for from others, is money.  It costs a lot to raise three kids, it cost an unthinkable amount to raise your siblings orphaned and paralyzed three kids. 

Think about the new, handicapped friendly  house they will need, nursing care, motorized wheelchairs, etc.  And lest you think that insurance is going to cover it - think again.  Many health insurances have lifetime maximums.  Also, any only cover 80% out of network benefits.  Not to mention the medical planes that had to be involved to transport the kids  to their rehab place.

People from all around the world have been touched by this and are doing the two things that can actually help this family.  Sending messages of support and money.  Everything from Lemonade Stands, Bake Sales, Stores donating percentages of sales, all the way to a connection reaching out to Justin Beiber who started a celebrity awareness campaign. 

I have seen some comments on some of the news stories from people who say that giving to one family, rather than another, is unfair.  But what is really unfair, is having another driver cross over into your lane because he was looking for a DVD in his car and killing your parents.  What is really unfair is not being able to walk when you are 8 and 9 years old.

Yes, there are tragedies every day.  But most people feel better helping a family that they can put a name and a face with. 

What I haven't seen, thankfully, is the cynical behavior I was dreading.  I haven't seen people jockeying for position or attention.  I haven't seen a "mine fundraiser is better than yours" attitude.  I haven't seen a "no, I'm too busy with Pilates to help" response. 

I have seen people who loved Robin and Josh, who have never met or heard of Robin and Josh or who knew someone who knew someone who knew someone, all gathering together to help the Berry kids.

So lets give ourselves all a big round of applause and recognition for being superhuman, rather than just being human.