By Diana's blog | April 21, 2011 at 09:26 PM EDT | 1 comment
I have discovered something about myself. Whenever I have something big to worry about, such as a big problem with the kids, a large financial issue or a job change, I do what is most counter productive - I focus on any type of minutia that I can think of. All of it unrelated to the problem at hand.
If I have a big tax payment due, it is obviously the best time to obsess over which drive through pharmacy to go to. Worried about a learning disability or allergy? Try spending several hours thinking of ways to get more vegetables in everyone's diet. Don't even get me started on the merits of Tylenol vs. Advil.
I cannot help it. I have fear of dealing with big issues because I am afraid I will make the wrong decision and really screw things up. So instead I worry about things where the ultimate decision isn't that important. Why should I worry now about whether to take the local streets or the highway to work on Monday? How come I am wondering if I will remember to buy that graduation card I need?
When I made the move to Houston, there were some big decisions that I hadn't put enough thought into that have come to bite me in the ass. Now I know I can't think of the repercussions of all of my actions - Gd knows I wouldn't want to face all those- but it has put me in a situation where I cannot bear to face huge decisions. On the other hand, I certainly don't want other people moving forward and making large decisions without my input. So that puts me in a conundrum.
Usually I assume that enough alcohol and really bad tv (can't wait for teen mom 3 to start) will give me the perspective to solve all of my problems. Surprisingly, it doesn't work. Instead I worry about the teen mom's problems and yell at her to forget about her loser boyfriend.
When I realize that I can't obsess over small things anymore I start to daydream. I'm sure that if Tina Fey only got to know me, she would put me on her show. I have hatched a plan for us to somehow get acquainted and form a close friendship. We are so much alike, I'm sure she would love me.
I also fantasize that Donald Trump will come into contact with me and be so impressed that he offers me a million dollar a year job. Or to pay off my mortgage. Or to put me on apprentice. Or to let me babysit Ivanka's child.
Finally, I fantasize about going on HGTV and getting a fabulous home makeover. After all aren't I more deserving that that family with the blind children?
See, even in my blog, I digress. So while I should be worrying about some major stuff going on, instead I will worry about which desperate housewife will survive her difficult children and whether Brie will ever loosen up.
I was looking everywhere and this popped up like nhoting!